


Unexpected

by icantbestill29



Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-21
Updated: 2017-06-21
Packaged: 2018-11-16 21:27:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11261337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/icantbestill29/pseuds/icantbestill29
Summary: It's the things you never even knew you wanted that you end up wanting the most.One-shot Propunk fluff.





	Unexpected

"Sarah, I have something I'd like to discuss with you," Rachel took her elbow as she stepped into the living room. "Sit, please."  


The other woman allowed herself to be guided to the plush white sofa, perching stiffly on the cushion. Even after nearly a year, she still wasn't entirely at ease in Rachel's penthouse. It always felt like her mere presence was soiling the place, tainting its sterile perfection. Rachel, Sarah had to begrudgingly admit, had become more relaxed as time went on, refraining from slipping a coaster under Sarah's drink when she put it down on her antique coffee table or not grimacing as the other woman put her boot clad feet up on the pristine ottoman. And in deference to Rachel's Herculean efforts to stifle herself, Sarah tried her best to curb the natural instinct to leave her used cereal bowl on the counter instead of in the sink or mess up the hand towels in the bathroom, anything so that the joint looked like someone actually inhabited it and not a bloody museum.  
They hadn't discussed Sarah moving in and it was safe to assume they probably never would, since they spoke little of the inner workings of their relationship. Sarah understood it was a distinct possibility that one day, she'd return home only to find her belongings had been packed up and shipped to the penthouse. It was how Rachel operated and though her presumptuous nature tended to drive Sarah insane (and make her furious as well), she had gotten used to how the other woman did things. At times, it could even be endearing (not that she'd admit as much to Rachel) and although the blonde seemed to be in her own self-absorbed world the majority of the time, Sarah soon discovered that she did pay attention to details. When she'd begun frequenting the penthouse (if pressed to pinpoint exactly when things had evolved from just sex to something with real feelings involved, Sarah couldn't say), Rachel had begun having the normally empty refrigerator and pantry stocked with her favorite foods, ("Crisps, Sarah, really? I should have known you would have a penchant for junk food," to which Sarah retorted, "Yeah, well, we can't all live on mineral water and lettuce leafs, can we, Rach?")and the liquor cabinet with bottles of expensive bourbon (much more expensive than she would have ever bought for herself), as far away from Rachel's precious wine collection as possible. She had her own drawer in Rachel's dresser (she had politely declined Rachel's offer to to send Troy out for a new wardrobe), her own set of towels, and a toothbrush in the bathroom. If anyone had told her one day she'd end up practically co-habitating with her sworn enemy, she would have thought them as insane as Rachel was. 

Sarah placed a casual hand on Rachel's leg, allowing her fingertips to graze the other woman's knee cap. "What is it?"

Rachel turned to look at her, her expression unreadable. She didn't normally mince words but Sarah could sense her hesitation.

"Rachel?" She stilled her hand and Rachel sighed. The thought occurred to Sarah that her clone was afraid to initiate the conversation and the mere notion that Rachel Duncan, ruthless business woman, was frightened of anything, was entirely disconcerting. "Look, whatever it is, you can tell me, yeah?"

It had taken some time to adjust to looking into Rachel's eyes (that was a whole different level of guilt) and not seeing the woman who had tried to kill her, who had kidnapped her daughter, to actually see Rachel herself and not the vile things she had done.

But she was right there with her. She had hurt her too and on some level, she could understand Rachel's twisted thought process. She knew what it was like to feel you had no choice but to fend for yourself, to feel forsaken by the people who were supposed to protect you. When she came to grips that Rachel(as much as she protested) needed reassurance, to be treated kindly and gently, it was easier to see her fragility, her vulnerability, which she kept securely under wraps at all costs. 

She swallowed tightly. "When Kira was by the other night, we got to chatting a bit.."

"Yeah," Sarah nodded slowly, "While I was out with Fee."

The fact she allowed her daughter to spend time with Rachel was both a testament to just how far their relationship had evolved and still a source of mild contention for Felix and Mrs. S. who only tolerated her because Sarah asked them to and because the child was clearly was fond of the woman. 

"Kira and I were chatting about school and the like," Rachel carefully proceeded, tucking back an invisible errant hair. "She asked me to take her shopping, if you permitted it."

"Is that what you wanted to talk about then?" Sarah laughed, relieved. "What, did you think I was gonna tell you to piss off? Listen, don't get a bigger head or anythin' but you know more about clothes than I do and Kira knows it too. You wanna take her to the shops, it's fine by me."

"It wasn't only that, Sarah. I do appreciate that you're willing to let me pick up some things for her, especially since you won't allow me to do the same for you. Though I must say...I've developed quite a fondness for those insipid things you wear...whatever do you call them...crop tops?"

Sarah felt a faint blush creep up her cheeks and she quickly shook her head. "Quit flirtin', Duncan, and just spit it out, yeah? What did you and Kira talk about?" Her expression changed. "Nothin's goin' on with her, is it? Nothin' I should know about?"

"Heavens, no," Rachel assuaged her fears with a dismissive wave. "Kira is perfectly fine. I didn't mean to give you any cause for alarm, Sarah."

"Right. Get on with it then." 

"She asked if it was permissible to call me Mum. You would still be Mummy, of course," she added hurriedly. "I was quite taken aback, honestly. I told her I would speak with you." Rachel shrugged (a very un- Rachel like gesture). "I didn't know what to say."

Sarah felt her throat close. It wasn't so much Kira's question that took her by surprise (the little girl had accepted their relationship far before anyone else had), it was looking at Rachel and seeing how invested she was in Sarah's answer, how much hope clearly hinged on it.

Being a Mum was something she'd taken for granted for most of Kira's young life, a fact she wasn't proud of. Back then, getting pregnant was just another hassle (though she'd fallen in love with her daughter upon sight) and being a mother wasn't something that came naturally to her. It met being tied down and faced with the mounting anxiety of a stable life, Sarah had no choice but to run. It wasn't until she met her sisters and learned they were barren by design (save for her and Helena), she could truly appreciate what a gift it was and knowing it was the one thing Rachel could never have was a powerful realization. They had come to an understanding, tentative at first, and then a more concrete one. She knew Rachel no longer resented her (She had lost things too) and didn't want or intend to take her daughter. The other woman simply wanted to be a part of Kira's life and Sarah, in spite of everything that had transpired between them, could acknowledge that much at least.

"Do you want her to call you that?"

"Not if it bothers you in any way, Sarah," Rachel searched her face for a reaction, "Kira is your daughter. I would never want to do anything to compromise your relationship." 

She didn't have to clarify what she meant and Sarah reached out to take her hand, half expecting Rachel to brush her away.

"I'm not worried about that. I'm askin' what you think about it. The truth, Rachel."

The clone took a deep intake of breath, squeezing Sarah's hand once before dropping it.

"I adore her, of course. She's smart and kind and she has her mother's tenacity," Her lips upturned slightly before sobering. "But allowing her to bestow such an important title upon me is an enormous responsibility, Sarah, and one I absolutely cannot take lightly. Especially given what occurred with my parents. It was something I--I carried with me. I could never hurt her like--I could never be responsible for making her feel--"

"Unloved?" Sarah supplied, touching her shoulder. "You would never do that."

"You cannot possibly know that," Rachel replied flatly, her wet eyes betraying her emotionless tone. "You have far too much blind faith in me, Sarah. How? How after everything that I've done to you, can you trust me...trust me with your daughter? How is it possible?"

It was not often that Rachel came undone but when she did, Sarah was hit over the head with the enormity of it all: Rachel needs. Rachel hurts. Rachel wants someone to reassure her she isn't bad and it wasn't her fault that her parents abandoned her. And in those rare moments, it was Sarah who brought her back. Sometimes, it was with sex, sometimes it was by simply holding her, sometimes it was by giving her the space she needed and leaving for a few hours and returning home to the version of Rachel she was most familiar with, calm and assured, waiting with a tall glass of bourbon on the rocks as an apology for losing her shit. However much these loses of control unnerved her, she was also grateful that Rachel could let down her defenses, that she was so much more than the cold bitch she presented herself as.

Shaking her head ruefully, Sarah let out an exasperated breath through pursed lips. "Don't be daft...it's cuz' I love you, you bloody idiot. And more importantly, Kira loves you. And you aren't goin' to let her down, yeah? You couldn't."

Rachel stared at her as if she just suggested they run away to a commune and live off the land.

"Well, I never thought I'd see the day," Sarah couldn't resist teasing, "The great Rachel Duncan, stunned into silence."

"Sarah Manning, has anyone told you how absolutely wretched you are?" The blonde raised an eyebrow, the spell broken. 

"Has anyone ever told you you're a total ice queen?" Sarah retorted cheekily, grabbing her loosely by the shirt collar, ignoring her protests that it was French silk and what the hell was she doing. "But you're my ice queen."

She kissed her hungrily which Rachel returned with equal passion. They stayed like that for awhile, tongues dueling for dominance, Rachel's hands caught up in Sarah's hair.

When they finally broke away, they were both short of breath and Rachel stood, pulling the other woman up with her.

Sarah didn't bother to ask where they were going. It was classic Rachel to use sex to avoid a direct conversation and classic Sarah not to protest in the least.

As Sarah allowed herself to be led down the hall, Rachel paused mid-way between the kitchen and their destination, coming close and leaning down to speak lowly into her ear.

"Sarah," Her breath was hot on her neck, causing Sarah to let out a low moan, "I feel the same way, you know. I love you. And Kira as well."

The punk grinned. "Well, it took you long enough, didn't it? C'mon then, Ms. Duncan...show me how much you love me."

Never one to shy away from a challenge, Rachel returned Sarah's smile with a mischievous one of her own that was more akin to a snarl and pressed her against the wall, grazing the points of her teeth gently against Sarah's vein, hazel eyes twinkling.

"Gladly."


End file.
